3 Things Your Child Can Do Without
"No" is another definition of "We have that at home"
We have a lot of stuff for her. Not as much stuff as some of the other kids in the neighborhood but that’s to be expected as my annual income from this is about $70 so there’s that.
It should come as no surprise then that despite the want to fill every one of her little desires, it’s just not possible. Soon it will be 145 percent more expensive (or whatever the tariff of the day is) so the chances are even less that she will get all the things.
To quote Mick and Co.: You can’t always get what you want.
And that’s okay. I think it’s good that we all can’t get what we want. It forces us to make do with what we have and - all jokes aside: we’ve got it pretty good here.
Tonight we had fun with a cork board. A cork board folks - from the dollar store! I bought four of them so we would have place to pin or stick the school calendars and other stuff that needs to be handy but doesn’t need to clogging up the kitchen table.. She thought this cork board was the best thing ever and was running to her room frantically looking for something - anything - to stick up on this most awesome thing in the world!
She came bouncing down the stairs with a page ripped out of a My Little Pony coloring book and was thrilled. At the end of the fun, I think this poor little pony had a good sixteen or so pins on it, including one in the eyeball (that sounds familiar)
This was our entertainment for the evening after dinner: 4 bucks worth of cork from the dollar store and another dollar for enough pins to crucify every little my little pony page she has.
As I put her to bed , I got to thinking: We know what we want to give her - fun, learning all the stuff that the top parenting Substack newsletters tell you have to do. But I will never get up to make a bento box at 4am when it’s more fun and educational to pack the cheese sandwich in the morning with her.
Bento Boxes are out. Cheese Sandwiches are in.
These are the things that I do not recommend for your child.1
Trampolines
These things are the devil. They look like a lot of fun, and they are. I have a mini one in the basement that she’s pretty much outgrown and there’s no way she’s getting a big one of her own.
These things are dangerous. Despite the nets and safety features, once you get two kids bouncing uncontrollably 5 feet in the air, bad things will happen and you’ll end up in the ER.
She can learn to swim. She can live without learning to jump in the air.
This is just my advice.
You can buy one, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Battery Operated Ride On Cars
These things are not that dangerous, but I find that the cost/value ratio on these is somewhat high on the cost side of the ledger. There’s the maintenance - you have to keep the thing charged and then you have to listen to the “reeeeeeeeeeeeeee” sound all day as your little charge drives into your real Mercedes instead because who decided it would be a good idea to put a 3 year old behind a steering wheel?
These Things can cost upwards of $500!
“Sorry”, they say while they jump out of the car and run to the park and touch grass while you’re debating your choices of buying them this in the first place. This car for kids goes 0-60 into your car in under six seconds.
All because you thought it would be cute to cough up over $300 for a Mini Mercedes.
The Happy Meal
I know, I know. It’s cheap, easy and it even comes with a toy for crying out loud. I myself have succumbed to the siren’s call of the Golden Arches but if there’s one thing the kid doesn’t need is a Happy Meal.
It’s horrible for them.
If this thing was tobacco it would have been banned by now.
But it’s disguised as fun and qausi-healthy because it comes with processed apple slices and some cheap toy that goes from the car to the garbage can every time.
I took a mini cucumber and wrapped in a slice of cheese and held it all together with a toothpick. I called it a “cheese dog” and it was a hit. Especially the toothpick. Sure, there’s a danger of the toothpick but that’s what adult supervision is for.
If you really need a toy to end a meal, you have bigger problems.
Just say no to McD’s if you can.
We Have That At Home
Today’s WHTAH are glue sticks. Yes, glue sticks.
You know, the four for a dollar ones. I’m writing about these because when you give a glue stick to a six year old and leave them to their own devices you will find coloring book pages stuck to the bedroom floor.
When asked why oh why would you do that!!?, she replied that she was holding them down the pages so she could color.
Lastly, the blue ones are the preferred color as she can see where she’s gluing.
“You’re gluing on the floor!” I replied.
The clear ones are just fine too for the intended purposes because they just get all over the floor and then the caps never get left back on anyway so there’ no point in getting the good ones
30 for under $10 is a pretty good price. Just watch out for sticky floors.
Hey look! I am a parenting expert too!