Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. I AM THE PLATFORM

    Maybe I am getting older and crankier - or the internet is just a complete pile of doo-doo lately but I think it’s time for me to dial back to simpler times where I owned the platform my writing is on.

    image

    The latest to get this treatment is Tidy Husband.

    For the past few years I have hosted it through substack but over the past year I feel that it’s become more of a platform with likes and videos and fees and feeds and OH. MY. IT’S A LOT

    It’s just too much.

    What happened to the older internet? The “back in the day” internet where you would surf and find neat and interesting things instead of getting sold to 24/7?

    So…with a little help from an AI robot for wiring up the plumbing bits - I’ve gone back in time to 2001 and created a little platform of my own where I can write and share photos here without building my house on land I don’t own.

    You have to do nothing but read - and share if you want.

    I’d ask you to like this post but you can’t and that’s kind of the point.

    The big excitement here today is minimal: she got her flu shot.

    raghavendra v konkathi v9idw3hqkb4 unspl Photo by Raghavendra V. Konkathi on Unsplash

    I warned her that Monday AM was the time, and she understood this year that getting a needle in your arm is WAY BETTER THAN GETTING THE FLU and she got the idea.

    There was a little apprehension as she left today to go with BW to the clinic, but meltdowns. When I asked BW later how it went, she said that there was some kicking and screaming but when it was done the child turned around and told BW:

    “that wasn’t so bad”

    After school she was proud to show off her robot band-aid and from what I can glean - she told her new friend Vera and that she should get a flu shot too because “getting the flu is a lot worse than the shot”

    And she has the robot bandaid as proof…and…we are good for another year.

    Until Next Time, and hoping this lands in your mailbox:

    TH and Co.

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  2. Go Find a Friend

    It started when I decided to put away the lawn furniture.

    two chairs on grass

    Photo by David Trinks on Unsplash

    I took the opportunity of a nice (almost) fall day to put away the lawn furniture because nobody is sitting outside any more even if we get a few more bonus days before the snow flies.

    Whilst in the garden shed, I found her soccer net and soccer ball. It took me a minute to find the little adapter for the pump to blow up the soccer balls but we found it and we had all the ingredients for a soccer game.

    Except friends to play with.

    So, BW and I both took turns between other outdoor tasks to play soccer but after a while the adults have to go adult and do adult stuff. BW had work to do inside and I had to finish the furniture task before dinner.

    “Play with me”, was the plea.

    We could, but that would require stopping what we were doing and we already played soccer. Mom and Dad are busy - press 3 to leave a message. Better yet - go play at the park!

    The brand new playground that you can see from the house has kids your age over there and I bet that they would love to play soccer with you.

    She thought about this and then went into the house to get a shoulder bag and somehow she managed to fit a soccer ball, a baseball bat and other goodies in the bag and off to the park she went. She didn’t come back for a good hour so I am assuming a friend was found and some playing happened.

    We left the net on the front lawn - that way we can get a quick game in before the school bus arrives.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

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  3. Just Peachy

    Today was a good day.

    red apple on white background

    Photo by Amit Lahav on Unsplash

    The plan: nothing until noon and then to the Peach Festival

    and then…

    MOM REALIZES MISTAKE. PEACH FESTIVAL WAS LAST WEEK. DAD SAYS “YOU TELL HER”

    I went and hid. BW dropped the bomb an offered Apple picking as consolation prize

    “Oh, Sure” she replied.

    Wait. What!?? What did you do with my daughter that does not like change. You have been talking about the peach festival all week and now it’s - eh, whatever?

    WHO ARE YOU?

    And she was just peachy all day. They went apple picking whilst I ubered, and the daily report was that she was great all day. I came home to her in the driveway setting up a “fall fair” in the frontyard.

    The activities were:

    • Bowl Stacking - harder than it looks
    • Dog Finding - the dog ran off. It was tense for a moment
    • Pumpkin Lifting. - another harder than it looks - when did pumpkins get so heavy.
    • Glow in the dark jump rope - I skipped this one, because reasons.

    And then she came in the house, decided herself she should shower and then farted around a bit and finally asked to be tucked in.

    I have just one question about all this good behavior:

    OKAY, UNIVERSE - WHAT’s THE CATCH?

    There has to be a catch.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

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  4. 99,998

    When we bought the bolt, it had 17000 miles on it.

    Not any more.

    I have Ubered a bit these past 3 years. I try not to but BW keeps saying stuff about liking to be married and living indoors.

    So, I drive. People come from all across the world to see Niagara Falls. I was there twice this afternoon.

    Electric cars are still a novelty for some passengers it seems so I thought I would answer a few questions here:

    Is this an electric car?yes.

    Do you like it?also yes.

    It’s quiet and roomy
    thank you. It has no motor.

    How many miles does it get on a charge?doesn’t matter - when I run out of juice I go home.

    What does it cost to charge?at home - about four bucks.

    How long does it take to chargeI have no idea. I plug it in at night and wake up and it’s full

    I’m sure there’s more but those are the basic ones. Overall this little blue roller skate has done us well with minimal repairs and a few sets of tires.

    We’re never going back to an ICE car. Ever.

    6000+ Uber rides so far. Here’s to a few more…

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

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  5. Sleepless Nights

    This is going to be a short one.

    A window lit up at night with trees in front of it

    Photo by Anastasya Borovkova on Unsplash

    The child was up all night. No fever, nothing serious - just post nasal drip.

    It’s been a while since I have been up in the middle of the night with a sick child.

    For those that are wondering - not much has changed. Not recommended.

    I checked for fever. Nothing. Cool as a cucumber.

    I offered tissues - “ I already did!!!” she bellowed at me half asleep.

    I offered benadryl - “ I don’t like it!”

    It will help, I offered.

    “I don’t like it”, she screamed and snorted.

    Finally, I got some benadryl in her and the drowsiness kicked in and slowly, slowly, slowly until finally she fell asleep.

    I tip-toed out of her room the best I could, but I swear I hit every squeaky floorboard on the way out.

    As I walked back to bed, I glanced at the clock: 2:45AM.

    I know, somewhere somebody was at a bar then partying it up, or working the night shift.

    But me? Dad’s too old for that stuff.

    Dad is tired.

    Dad is going to write one more sentence here and go to bed.

    Goodnight all,

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

    PS. She’s upstairs reading right now because she wants to win another shark.

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