Tidy Husband

Eligible for the seniors discount and the Happy Meal deal at the same time.

  1. F is for Funace

    It started out to be a good day.

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    I drove for a few hours this AM and then met the ladies at home for lunch and a nap because it was one of the first winter-ish days.

    One one of my trips for a coffee refill I noticed that the temperature was a little cool.

    Weird, but whatever.

    On my second trip I realized the furnace was not working. The thermostat was lying to me and telling me everything was fine. It was not fine.

    I realized we’re blowing cold air. Cold air we have abundance of right now - so more is not needed in November.

    Warm air is preferred.

    I did what one does here and checked with AI for the usual fixes and none of them worked. The motherboard on the furnace flashed CODE E229 - That translates to you are screwed.

    So, I found a local guy who had good reviews and seems to know what he was doing and he confirmed the worse: Screwed,we are.

    Also: cold.

    The motherboard? It needs to be replaced and it might be under warranty but there’s only so much one can do on a Sunday.

    So, we’re a little chilly here but surviving just fine. I have headphones to keep my ears warm and my little charge tells me she’s warm enough.

    But I have to tell you we’re all kind of fed up with home repair. In the past few months we’ve had roof, hot water heater and now furnace.

    That’s three now, universe.

    We’re done with home repair bad luck.

    Note to car: don’t get any ideas from the house. It’s a bad influence.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

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  2. The HairBrush

    She wants to grow her hair out.

    katja ano wqagwnfrzki unsplashPhoto by Katja Ano on Unsplash

    The problem is she doesn’t want to brush her hair

    Last night, it was rough with the hair brushing let me tell you. BW was smart and stayed downstairs and avoided the conflict over hair styling.

    Tonight she told me she didn’t need me any more and she could brush own hair because she was a big girl and I was treating her like a baby.

    I tried to emphasize that if she brushed it regularly she would not have this problem. Twice a day, I told her. Twice. A. Day.

    I KNOW!!! she told me.

    Oh, right. Big Girl.

    I told her that big girls brush their own hair and don’t need tucked in then.

    GoodnightILoveYou.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

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  3. Sick Day

    She flipped like a switch.

    national institute of allergy and infect Photo by National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases on Unsplash

    Just before dinner she was fine. At dinner she wasn’t.

    She looked white as a ghost.

    “I’m Tired”, she kept on telling us over and over again.

    We told her to go to bed and although her forehead and our thermometer told us she might have a bit of a fever, it’s when I was changing her into her PJ’s that I realized that our thermometer either lied or there’s been new data since.

    Either way, she had a fever and she went to bed.

    She slept it off. I had already mentally prepared myself to stay home with her again today so that’s what we did.

    “I’m fine”, she told me.

    I didn’t believe it and today my spidey-senses were right. By 10am “I’m fine” turned into quietly agreeing with me that we would go up and have a nap and listen to a story.

    This never happens. There’s not a lot of lie and listen to stories mid-day here.. we listened and her old man may have dozed off for a bit.

    And then just like that about noon - she told me she was hungry.

    I fed her a bit to be safe. Then a bit more and a bit more over the course of a few hours

    By the time it was 2pm she was over whatever bug was out there and singing and painting and bagging up what’s left of the Halloween candy so we could play store.

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    I may have helped a bit with the Halloween candy this year.

    May have. This is not a an admission of guilt.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

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  4. Not Feeling It

    She mentioned this the other night to me.

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    Her Bedroom was all wrong.

    “I’m just not feeling it”, she told me.

    Wrong color, wrong photos, wrong desk - you name it. It was all not her space.

    I told her we can fix that.

    We’re starting out small.

    Today we picked paint colors.

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    and I have to say- these are pretty good. Maybe not the darker ones - but she has a plan.

    It’s going to be a K-Pop Demon Hunters themed bedroom.

    At one point there was talk of one color per wall, but we have managed to get her to agree to just two colors.

    I mentioned to her that this is a long project the painting and with all the busyness around here this is not a tomorrow thing.

    In the meantime, we’re going to move a desk, drape a sheet, and string some LED lights in the corner to make a cozy reading nook.

    I’m hoping by doing this she will forget about the painting for a while. Until she’s 18 hopefully - or the K-pop demon hunters go out of style.

    Until Next Time,

    TH and Co.

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  5. Unmet Expectations

    Considering Amazon is already pushing the holiday season full blast, we figured today would be a good day to decorate the tree outdoors with lights.

    45 days to go says Google.

    There’s a cold snap on the way and now that we have a child we want her to have memories of the glow of Christmas lights on the tree outside her window so she can have the perfect childhood.

    kieran white sbdmqcw8qag unsplash 1*Photo by Kieran White on Unsplash1

    I could have done this alone. In hindsight I may have preferred to do it alone. In fact, I pretty much did do it alone because of the idea:reality ratio.

    If you’ve never heard of the idea:reality ratio, let me give you an example:

    As a subscriber to this newsletter the idea would be to be entertained while reading. The reality is that the content is middling at best – and it’s gotten so bad that readers are unsubscribing daily and even BW has complained.

    This brings us to the tree:

    The idea: the fall leaves, the breeze, the laughter of children playing while your wife helpfully assists in making sure each little bulb is placed just so for a pinterest-worthy card while she holds your hot chocolate waiting for you when get down from the ladder.

    The reality: it’s just freaking cold and windy, the child and the wife got bored long ago and somebody let the dog outside. BW has found somebody on the street to talk to and the child has decided whilst I turn my attention for a second to attempt to climb up and hang her own decorations and then complain that she’s scared and the step stool is wobbly.

    Meanwhile, I’ve got these crappy little lights BW bought on TEMU get caught on every effing branch and I’m not dragging a big ladder outside just to fall off it because there’s no good spot to lean it against a tree.

    This leaves us with the result of “eh, good enough” for tree decorating this year.

    Summary

    You may see those well-meaning Christmas catalogs with the perfect trees and houses decorated and everybody is wearing perfect little outfits where even the plaids on the shirts match the linings of the cute little boots.

    You might even dream that if only you bought those Christmas lights and started to wear plaid that you too could live the perfect little life of plaid and lights - not only this Christmas – but for many more to come.

    That’s the idea talking. The idea just talks.

    The reality doesn’t talk. It demonstrates.

    Tonight they demonstrated they do not work at all.

    This is my reality.

    Until Next Time, TH and Co.

    1. This is not our tree. This is a very pretty tree. again, NOT OUR TREE. ↩

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