What if the Tooth Fairy and Santa Came to Our House at the Same Time?
I have questions.
The child has a bottom tooth that’s hanging on by a thread and while I was putting her to bed tonight we just realized that there is possibility that Santa Claus and The Tooth Fairy would end up at our house in our living room on the same night!
And if this were to come true, what exactly would happen?
Imagine the scene: Santa’s got his list of naughty or nice and he’s on our roof checking to make sure he’s at the right address. He lumbers off his sleigh, pats Rudolph on the way by - and shimmies down our chimney1 with his bag of goodies.
He gently places the gift under the trees, and as he straightens up again he hears a sound. At first, he thought it was his back cracking again, but then he realized there was somebody else in the room and it wasn’t Cindy-Lou Who because she’s on the route later in the night.
Santa, he’s a little PO’d because here comes this tiny little fairy in a tiny skirt and she just shows up and he assumes she is trying to steal his thunder.
In a way, Santa has a right to be PO’d as the entire economy depends on him to get the stuff to the stores and in the delivery trucks and under trees. He’s got a big operation with elves and reindeer and logistics and weather - all these things to concern himself with - he has no time for competition or cooperation.
This is his night. It’s right there on the Calendar - he set an alarm on his phone not to forget - December 24th is for the kids to get excited about him and not some little fairy handing out money.
Then along comes some sweet little fairy and all she has to do is scan the world for loose teeth and take the tooth and leave a bit of cash under a pillow . She doesn’t have to worry about elves, or sleighs or reindeer with red noses and all of that.
Think about it: Santa has to worry about who’s been naughty or nice, what they want, how many they want and the list goes on and on. It’s a lot of work being Santa. No wonder it’s only once a year.
The tooth fairy on the other hand has an app on her phone with a map of all the teeth waiting under pillows, so she gets up and just has to visit the ATM on the way so she will have some cash to put under a pillow when she gets there
When the tooth fairy arrives she goes right upstairs to the bedroom - grabs the baby tooth and drops a fiver 2 under a pillow for the child to find.
By this time - Santa, he’s at the kitchen table and munching on a cookie when he swings around and sees the tooth fairy - his first response is to get jealous because it is his night after all, but then he remembers Mrs Claus telling him to stop watching so much Fox News and start being nicer to the competition because we’re all in this together.
In fact, they recently started a union: ICE - Imaginary Characters Everywhere - so that they can all get a piece of the pretend pie and it’s equal for all. The Easter Bunny is the President because he has all the eggs in his basket.
Santa chuckles, 3 and offers the tooth fairy a cookie. “How times have changed”, he thinks to himself. She smiles and politely declines his cookie offer because she’s now on a weight loss medicine that’s all the rage with the fairies because those fairy dresses aren’t cheap and with the costs of the teeth increasing she doesn’t have a budget for new outfits like she used to.
She grabs one of the carrots left for Rudolph, takes a bite and then kisses Santa on the cheek.
“Merry Christmas Santa”, she whispers as she flits out the window on the way to the next loose tooth waiting under another pillow down the street.
Santa puts down what’s left of his cookie, and with a wink of his nose he’s back in his sleigh with Rudolph happily leading the way.
“Ho! Ho! Ho!”, he’s got a lot more houses to visit and those elves are unionized now and the labor costs are killing him so he has no time to spare as he has many many many many more chimneys to descend before he can call it quits for the night..
One more sleep left!
TH and Co.
which is difficult because we don’t have one. I think this Santa story needs to be brought up to more modern times where chimney’s aren’t as much of a thing as they once were.
the going rate, I am afraid.
he is Santa after all.