Tub Horton's
The taste is the same, but the name is slightly different.
Being born in the hometown of Canada’s Tim Horton’s and growing up closest to store number 3 and store number 1 being just across town, I am familiar with the brand.
But I wasn’t familiar with the newest franchise that just opened up in our bathtub at home tonight.
It’s a very small affair, with seating for just one and the hostess is friendly - but in the bathtub - which is kind of weird, but they do have the best cups of coffee tubwater I have ever had.
Just don’t get the tub-bits. You’ve been warned.
Be sure to ask the hostess to fill the kettle right from the tub to get the freshest you’ve ever tasted and she offers a special of a my little pony topping to add to the special blend that us Canadians drive across town for.
I can also recommend the rubber duck donuts to complete your Tub Horton’s experience.
And that’s how I’ve been spending my after-dinner time - pretending to drink bathwater and eat rubber duck donuts.
Sadly, the current enshittification of everything continues with our Tim’s too - where a cup of coffee is pushing $3.00 and the donuts are bordering on horrific and the difference between Tub Horton’s and Tim Horton’s is very little.
Back in the day, there were actual bakers that baked the real donuts at 1 am and when you worked nights you could go and get fresh donuts and coffee any time as they were open 24 hours.
You were part of a community when you visited your local Timmy’s - the folks behind the counter called you “Hon” and knew what you liked and where you Sat and often - because you were in there so much they knew you by name. You were a regular.
If the coffee was 20 minutes old, they would pitch it and make a new pot. Now? I have no idea if the coffee even comes from a pot any more? I think it’s just a button that’s pushed for fifteen dollars an hour.
Today I reluctantly go to Tim’s. 3 bucks for a cup of black coffee is just too much money and there’s no flavor: either in the coffee, the stores - or the food. It’s too bad because it used to be a great “3rd place” before Starbucks stole the idea and sold it to the Apple crowd and their 7 dollar dollar lattes.
It’s a sad state when the coffee and service at home at Tub Horton’s probably tastes better than the real thing. The service is better and they’re open later too : They close at 8pm but because it’s bedtime and the bathwater is getting cold
Tub Hortons: Come for coffee, stay for the ponies and ducks. Also, singing - sometimes there’s singing. It is a bathtub after all.
Stay caffeinated and away from the donuts,
TH and Co.
It is quite ironic that Tim Horton’s coffee became worse after being purchased by a Brazilian holding company. One would think Brazilian’s might have better coffee sense. I used to love going to Store#1, I still pop in to look at the hockey memorabilia, but no longer buy what they sell as coffee.
But Tub Bits do sound intriguing!