The form came home on Friday.
She’s good with the reading. I have found her fast asleep in bed with a book on her chest so reading isn’t a problem at all here really. Athletic ability is another topic…
The form was for “Summer 2026 Reading Challenge” and if you did 6 of the 12 options you could take the form to the local outlets for a free prize: a few tokens at the arcade, an ice cream cone, some candy at the candy store.
She chose candy, because she aced the form.
But, - and there’s a but. The form says “expires August 2026”. First of all, this is not a cash grab. It’s not like the child is printing out copies and visiting all the spots for a tiny freaking ice cream.
This program is designed to support READING first and foremost. The local businesses get a free ad sent home to a lot of households for the price of a tiny ice cream cone. This is not a ponzi scheme, it’s a reinforcement of good behavior:
KID READS
KID GETS TREAT
KID ASSOCIATES READING WITH ICE CREAM
ICE CREAM IS DELICIOUS
KID READS MORE
That’s it. Jim’s five-step program on how to get the kid to read. patent pending
It’s my opinion that there should not be an expiration on this deal at all. In fact, this should be the SOP for every kid: READ all summer - get 3 sharks. The end.
Maybe I will start a read and get 3 sharks reading club. I don’t need a form.
We go up the road to the candy store to cash in our prize and the lady at the counter gives some push back because the form and the stupid expiration date. She tells us she will “honor the form” but that all the other places might not.
A few things here: The prize is 1/4 lb of candy. candy is heavy. Want to know what the child ended with? THREE GUMMY SHARKS
I did some research and asked Google about what the sharks cost at the wholesale rate:
The wholesale cost for exactly 3 individual blue gummy sharks would be roughly $0.13 to $0.19 total.
Because wholesale orders are priced strictly by weight rather than by individual piece, this breakdown shows how that tiny cost is calculated:
Average Weight: A standard gummy shark weighs about 8 grams (0.0176 lbs). Three sharks weigh roughly 0.053 lbs total.
Wholesale Value: At a bulk rate of $2.40 to $3.50 per pound, the raw cost of those three candies is less than twenty cents.
20 cents, folks. TWENTY CENTS WORTH OF CANDY.
That’s a lot of push back for 20 cents of candy because the form was a week past due. - for a form that should not have had an expiration date in the first place. Instead of reinforcing the reading - we’re reinforcing the stupid rules instead.
Adults do really ruin all the fun sometimes.
Oh! the BLUE SHARK REVIEW from the child:
“They are blue on the top and white on the bottom and REALLY thick”
Are they delicious?, I asked.
“YES,” she replied
CHALLENGE COMPLETED.