The Bonus Round
Alternate Title: The Art of the Deal
Parenting has made me realize I have some skills did not think I have.
Take mopping up spills, as an example. I am an expert on this. Between the dog and the child there is not a day that goes by where I am not wiping some mystery liquid off the floor.
Last night’s liquid was water. She knows better, but I found her draining the contents of her water bottle and then mixing it with play-doh:
She knows better too. NO playing with water in the house. That’s the rule
“The only thing wet I want to see is when you rinse off your toothbrush” I tell her.
But the siren call of pink play-doh and water on the floor were just too much to resist.
Resisting is a skill I am not good at. Sure, for no water rules I’m all about resistance but when we’re playing a game and we can negotiate when it will end so she can go to bed.
ME: Let’s stop at 6 plays
HER: 9
ME: 7
Her: 8
Me. Okay - 8
Her: and a bonus round
ME: Okay. Hey, wait a minute….
I’m assuming you can do the math here. I can too, but sometimes it’s just easier to cave for the two more turns and then the bonus round.
The game we were playing was squishmallow basketball. Don’t look for this game on Amazon. It’s one we made up where she throws the squishmallow at me while I hold my arms out like human basketball net. The problem with this setup is that my face ends up being the backboard. It’s a good thing that squishmallows are, well, squishy because I have had my share of hospital visits lately.
The score ended up being about 8-4 and then she won the bonus round.
She then grabbed my phone and made me my new wallpaper of the night with AI.
“Close your eyes” She says.
Once this little nightly routine is done we negotiate again for one more time with AI image fun:
She’s so excited about easter. I thought the leprechauns were the excitement but OMG Easter, you guys it will be here in about a week and I am beginning to wonder if she’s going to make it.
I finally pry my phone away from her otherwise she will be up all night making images with AI.
Oh, just one more image:
She was so tired when I left her she was complaining about how tired she was which never happens. I wore her out, thanks to the bonus round.
The final score is: Dad wins. Now he can write this in peace.
Thanks for the feedback Anton. I'm relatively new here so your note is especially encouraging. Thank you again!
This made me laugh out loud—especially the bonus round negotiation tactic. Classic kid logic: always one step ahead. And I totally felt the face-as-backboard moment… the things we endure for squishmallow glory. Love how you capture the chaos and sweetness of parenting without sugarcoating it. Looking forward to more dad wins (and AI-generated peep wallpapers).