That Time we Dressed up as Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez for Halloween

We travelled by boat the entire trip.

A picture is 1000 words so I’ll just get this posted:

That’s Lauren on the left and me, Jeff on the right and our little amazon package is pulling up the rear.

I have nobody to blame but myself. Back in the summer when the wedding was all over the news I quipped to BW that we should dress up as the newlyweds on their big boat.

“We don’t have a boat”, BW said.

We can fix this, I told her and then rightly forgot about it until about mid September when BW reminded me.

“Oh, this is really going to happen?”, I asked.

BW answered by ordering 2 t-shirts with fake abs and one black wig and some red lipstick.

Add a few strategically placed socks and we were on.

But we need a boat! The happy couple got married on a boat and we just can’t walk down the street holding hands as that would be so boring.

Last weekend in preparation for tonight - we made the boat:

We named her the U.S.S Silicone, because not all the things you see are real in life.

The boat came from a fridge box that BW asked for on facebook and so she jammed it into the car and we turned it inside out and went at it with some box cutters, magic markers and a bit of green tinsel and a whole lot of humor and we had ourselves a yacht any ogliarch with money would be envious of.

We then had to figure out logistics like how we are going to move in the thing but BW had the bright idea to jam 2 broomsticks through it to use as handles and then we could walk along together.

And…it worked.

At one point, the child wanted to dress up as a Disney character but once she realized we were going to be the Amazon couple then we suggested she be an Amazon Box and the costume worked out really well as all we had to do was to cut a hole in the bottom of the box for her to fit through and then rig up some shoulder straps and we were golden.

Once we were all dressed up and out in the world roaming the ocean that is our neigborhood we found that either people got the joke or had no idea what we were dressed up as. I thought more would get it, but whatever.

We did get a lot of comments about commitment to the cause, and I think we won Halloween this year.

Anybody can order something on Amazon and have it be her costume. We’re the only parents that went all in this year, and then gave the child a cardboard box and convinced her that it was going to be her costume. I’m the cheapest Dad ever.

Would we do it again? Yes, with some modifications. A mile lap around the neighborhood walking around with very small steps and carrying your cardboard boat is tiring. Also, our flag on the back didn’t last as long as we had hoped but otherwise..sure.

I’m now afraid that this will have become an annual thing where we have to get dressed up next year again, and I don’t think we can beat this. We could go as another couple perhaps - Sonny and Cher? Hall and Oates? - We have some time to think about it.

I will tell you that our tiny little package had a blast and her only complaint was that she was cold but she didn’t want to wear another sweater so Halloween 2025 ended up being a bit of a life lesson to bring a sweater next time.

Other than the cold - she just loved it. This year may have been peak Halloween for her. Some kids would run from house to house but she was happy for the experience and took her time picking the candy and sometimes had questions about the decorations on the porch from the owners.

Happy Halloween and Trick or Treat!

TH and Co.