Just One Second
If that was all it took.
Call it a stall tactic or not wanting to stop what she’s doing or whatever - it’s annoying.
Put on your PJ’s. please.
“One second”, she tells me.
I get it, I do. I hate it when I get interrupted when trying to concentrate and I just want to finish this paragraph and then I can give you my full attention to whatever you have to tell me right now with the constant “Dad, Dad, Dad…..DAD!” being repeated in my right ear.
It seems that in this house we’re all inattentive or too attentive to the important stuff, but this morning was peak “one second” for her.
If it was the past 10 days or so, you can have all the seconds you want because we were snowed in, bored and a little on edge. But this morning was a school day and we needed to get dressed and out the door on time because Mr. Dave the School Bus Driver does not wait - nor should he.
We were up and awake with too much time in fact. We had so much time she decided she needed to send all her stuffed animals to school and make paper backpacks for them.
“We’re out of tape”, she tells me as she roots through the junk drawer unsuccessfully for another roll.
I tell her she’s going to have to deal because even though I have tape stashed, now is not the time to start a paper backpack company for stuffed animals.It’s a great idea and we can suggest it the folks at Shark Tank but right now can we just concentrate on putting on pants?
“One second”, she tells me and then runs up to her room and comes back with tape from her bedroom. I don’t ask questions I don’t want the answer to. Also, now we’ve got…
14 minutes until the bus comes.
She’s dressed, but no socks on. My priority is toothbrush, socks, coat, hat, bookbag and boots and out the door - It’s t-minus 12 minutes now. She decides that the stuffed animals with custom book-bags are now going to school and they need to be placed around the house in the proper educational setting for each animal.
“One Second”, she tells me.
The bunny is placed on the table with some rubber bands. I am instructed to feed her when she’s at school today.
I instruct her to get some effing socks on and brush your teeth, because now:
8 minutes until the bus comes.
Socks are on. They don’t match but whatever. She was supposed to wear spirit clothes today but she tells me that it’s a suggestion and not a rule so she wears a red striped sweater and white pants. To heck with rules.
Teeth get brushed so little it’s hard to call it teeth brushing and more like teeth “showing them what a toothbrush looks like”, but hey it’s a Monday and also…
4 Minutes until the bus comes.
Final instructions are given about the stuffed animals as I manage to get her coat on about what they should study. I agree while I help her zip up and put on mittens because it’s cold out. I can’t find a hat, but she has a hood and it’s not too cold out.
I make sure her snack is in the her book-bag and then adjust her hood and zip her up a so she’s a little warmer. I ask for a and then I open the door and my little charge runs straight for the fresh snow in the lawn. She has exactly
2 Minutes until the bus comes
She kicks the snow on the driveway while I watch her from the front window and after a minute the school bus comes screeching to a halt with red flashing lights ablaze and opens the doors for my little charge to manage the stairs that were designed for much bigger kids.
I wave, but she doesn’t acknowledge. She’s too busy seeing friends she hasn’t seen over the winter break and getting seated.
I watch the bus turn the corner ready to pick up it’s next passenger and then turn around and survey the damage that happened. Not too bad - a few dishes in the sink and an extra sock on the floor. I start to pick up the sock and then realize I need a break after all that. I lie down on the couch and close my eyes.
“Just for a second”, I tell myself.
Time flies when you’re late for the bus,
TH and Co.