I'm Not Tired
Oh, yes you are. Mommy says so.
We were doing so well. Until we were not
I was so proud of myself and with just about ten more days until she’s seven I thought that maybe, just maybe we were done with the bedtime screaming and we had outgrown it.
I was wrong.
This is partially the fault of the parents. The child was upstairs, and without warning BW asked the child to turn off the tablet and put on PJ’s. It was time to go to bed, and the parents were doing other stuff and lost track of time.
Cue the screaming.
“I’m not tired!”, she bellowed. I tried to tell her the facts showed otherwise and if you’re in tears while you’re screaming that you’re not tired - changes are you are tired. Trust me, I get cranky when I get tired too. I get it.
It’s okay to be tired.
She then said she wanted to live in an old mansion. As we got PJ’s on and she settled down a bit I explained that the life she has now is much better because back in the day when real mansions1 were lived in they didn’t have real toothpaste and had to use cat litter and mint.
This did not work.
“I want a huggie”, she bellowed.
I told her that’s not how this works. You cannot tell Mommy NO and then when I come to police the situation, you ask me for a hug. Brush your teeth and be happy it’s not cat litter and mint and then we can talk about a huggie.
She’s in bed now, we’re settled down and the huggies have been administered. I told her that if she closes her eyes and then makes it all the way through listening to her 40 minute story about penguins then she can tell me she’s not tired.
This did not go as planned. She stayed awake the entire time and then came downstairs just as I started to write.
“Dad, I’m not tired”, she said as she peeked around the corner.
Sigh.
She stayed awake. I get her back in the bed for the 2nd time and tell her that she can’t disobey mommy like that because she’s the boss. The child tries to manipulate me by saying that I’m the boss, but tell her no. Mommy is always the boss - we’re just the supporting cast.
The pecking order is mommy first and you better start listening to her because in 5 days we are planning to go to Great Wolf Lodge to celebrate your birthday. If you don’t start listening we can have 5 no fun days.
I open my hand and spread out my fingers and count to five. Then I ask her if I take away five how many are left?
“Zero”, she says.
Exactly, I tell her. It would be a real shame if we had to stay home because you didn’t behave five days before we go because you wouldn’t listen to your mother.
We haven’t heard a peep since.
Behave yourself,
TH and Co.
McMansions do not count.