Becoming UnGlued
A Story about Glue - and the Incredible Hulk.
Just another day here.
Ha.
You see, it’s the time of year when little green men keep showing up in our house when we’re asleep . Yup, you got it - the leprechauns are coming to town.
This morning at breakfast she asked when the little green men are going to visit? I told a small lie and told her that this year they have a much bigger area to cover now with tariffs and higher pricing - they need to cover a bigger area to collect all the gold coins this year to hit their fiscal goals, so I told her not until the 12th this year.
In other years when I was younger I would start from March 1 onwards with the hiding tricks those little buggers have done. I have had them play with stuffed toys, make green drinks at the table and all kinds of random stuff. I tried to do something with Cheerios last year and the dog ate them so I won’t be recreating that this year - the things you learn.
Anyway, this morning the child decided she needed to make trap for the little fellas so she could catch one. “They’re fast and small” I told her “maybe we could skip making the trap this year”
She looked at me like I had just told her there’s no Santa Claus and then said to me: “When you’re at the dollar store today..”
I had no intention of going to the dollar store today but later today I was there picking up green glue, glitter, felt and beads and ribbon - anything green so she could trick out the Amazon box we had picked for the trap this year.
When I came home from Uber-ing there was a trap at the ready for the little guys and it was decked out with all the bling and we were ready for little green men in the house - we are ready with a trap! .
The rest of the evening went as planned: Dinner, a little dancing to AC/DC (thunderstruck) and then she went to her room and I started to clean the bathroom because, well, that’s my job here.
I come out of the bathroom to the child waving her bright green hands saying that she’s the Incredible Hulk. “Aarrrrrgh”, she moans at me.
I take one look and I know this is going to take a while to clean up. I was not wrong.
Remember the green glue I bought? Want to know what happens when you leave a 7-year-old alone in her room with a bottle of green glue? You create a big honking mess for Dad to clean up, is what happens.
I may have expressed my disappointment in her actions. Twice, at least.
There was glue on her ankles! How do you get glue on your ankles? I get her all wiped down and in clean non-green PJ’s and then start to attack the mess that was her bedroom. I can deal with finger paints and washable stuff - but glue? It’s sticky and tacky when it’s half dry and it’s just a freaking mess.
I hosed down a My Little Pony today so it could live to tell another day. I can’t say the same for the McDonald’s toys that got glued together.
I half-filled a big black industrial garbage bag of paper and coloring books with pages glued together and a whole bunch of broken crayons and some stuff I don’t even know what it was - it’s gone now - that I do know.
I still have to tackle her floor tomorrow because the crap on her floor needs an intervention before I let my new roomba in there to do the daily cleaning again.
Where’s BW when all this is happening? She’s hiding in the family room where it’s safe.
See? I told you she was the smartest one of the bunch here.
Until Next Time,
TH and Co.
PS: Don’t miss tomorrow - It’s the big Leprechaun trap reveal!