Be Nice to Your Uber Driver

plus a few other tips I have learned after 5000 rides

I came home to this. Did I mention I loved her?

I hate the “what do you do?” question. I’m not who I am by whom I work for - or the type of work I do. I trade my time for money, and for the past couple years I have been driving an Uber.

Why?

BW says I can, and it works for us for now.

This is not a job. You’re a 1099 contractor and this means that for the most part you work for yourself. You fire up the app and wait for a match for a ride and if the time/place/money ratio work for you then you accept the ride and start driving.

Rinse, lather, repeat.

Now with close to 5000 rides under my belt the past 2 years, I have a few tips and tricks for riders:

1. Be on time. I’ve driven 10 minutes across town to be at your door. The app has sent you at least 3 text messages showing you where I am. I will wait for 2 minutes and leave. Time is money, and all that.

2. This is my car. I have had almost zero bad interactions but it’s not my fault you don’t have enough brain cells to work the app and figure out where you want to be. I will drop you off at the destination that you chose.

3. I never pickup at a Walmart. Because it’s Walmart.

4. If you do not have a baby seat for your child, you’re not riding with me.

5. If you have more people than I have room, you’re not riding. No, your kid cannot sit on your lap. Math seems to be hard for some people.

6. I’m not a mover. I will not help you move apartments.

7. I don’t work nights. I’m old, can’t see all that well at night and don’t like people barfing in my car - so days works for me.

8. I don’t get the full amount you pay. I get about half-ish. If you paid Uber 50, I will see about $20.00. It’s not great, but it is what it is and it’s not so bad driving around all day with a hot cup of coffee and your music on.

9. If you have more stuff than I have room, I don’t have to take you.

10. Tips are appreciated but not necessary. Times are hard out there, for all of us.

11. I rate everybody five stars, because this isn’t Amazon reviews. If you’d didn’t barf in the back - we’re good.

When I started, I thought that having strangers in my car would be gross, and I’ve had my share of odors waft up from the back seat (mostly weed) but most people are nice, smell okay and say hello and don’t say another word to you until you drop them off.

The child asked me if I will drive for another 5000 rides and I said “maybe”, because you never know what the future will hold. I could.. become a professional writer.

Wait. I am a professional writer because some people reading this have actually paid me to support my work which still blows my mind.

In the meantime, I’ll fire up the Uber app tomorrow and drive my little blue car around town because despite what Substack would have you believe - this writing thing is a hobby that pays a bit for pizza at this point and that’s about it.

Be nice to your Uber Driver. You might be asking them to sign your copy of their book one day.

Driving towards my goals,

TH and Co.