Literally Made In China

I think the child has been watching too much Fox News.

This is the only reason I have for her behavior.

Just before I left her room after tucking her in she takes a look at the stuffed animal she's holding, reads it's tag and says to me "Dad, this is Literally Made in China!"

Literally?

You're kidding right. Nobody around here speaks like this. It's not 1984 and you're not a valley girl and you're definitely not the POTUS because if you were I would soooo be sending you to your room in Palm Springs for a time out.

Today has not been a good day for us here. Literally.

She did not want to get up out of the bed for BW this morning and in protest of waking up she KICKED BW

Today she learned a lesson called consequences: If you kick anybody, it's an instant no fun day here. INSTANT. We do not kick.

She knew she was misbehaved because she didn't put up too much of fight about not having dessert (a cardinal sin here) or just having to go to bed without "sillies" (as they are called here)

She told me that stopping kicking is "literally hard" (there's that word again) and she can't. I told her it's understandable and waking up is hard to do but there is no kicking. You can moan and groan and ask for coffee and five more minutes like mommy does, but you cannot kick.

"You can kick a soccer ball - that's it. Every thing else does not get kicked" I told her.

You will act like literally the bigly girl you are. You can do better. Really.

Like, OMG.