B is for Bisexual

The other day we were in the kitchen and as usual with a 4 yo there’s lots of questions and just lots of talking in general. OMG the talking, it seems to never stop.

Then out of the blue she said to me :

“B is for Bisexual” . Yes, my dear it is.

How far we’ve come. It wasn’t so long ago that the word “fa**ot” was totally acceptable even in pop culture on top 40 radio like this song from dire straits. 40 years later and now my 4 yo tells me about the LGBQT+ community - bisexuals included.

Where did she learn about all this? Tonies.

Parents, grandparents and caregivers this is your warning. If you have kids and want to save money then whatever you do don’t tell your kid that these exist. You will pay. Literally. A lot.

Our immersion into Tonieland started harmlessly enough the starter kit as a gift. This included the Tonies box and 1 character to get us started: The “starter kit” comes with the Tonie speaker  and a bedtime song version to get the kid hooked.

Once you figure out how to connect the thing to your WiFi she’s hooked and all other toys are pretty much obsolete now.  The initial setup is a bit of a pain as you have to enter secret codes and then your password for your WiFi and do this all through an app and I have found it takes a few tries to get this right. But, once connected to the internet you’re golden.

This toy is actually pretty well thought out. The speaker works by putting one of these “ characters” on top of the box and there must be a magnet or chip on the bottom and that connects to the base that causes the songs or stories start to play. The “ears” on the box are the volume rocker. It takes no time for the kiddo to figure out how it works which is nice.

The box is portable and has a battery life of about 7 hours. There’s no screen so the kiddo has to use their imagination. It’s essentially Spotify -  but for kids. It’s a pretty neat idea.

The speaker charges on the  base when not in use so it’s ready to go. She hasn’t figured out that it can be used as a portable device anywhere and that it’s only a bedtime thing. I’m not to keen on having “wheels on the bus” at full volume next to me in the living room, or worse - the car. We’re keeping it our secret about the portability

See how the photo above is of the “starter kit”?. This is because the kit with the bedtime songs character is just the beginning.. There will be more characters . Lots more characters.

We are up to 19 Tonies now

Let’s do the math: The starter kid is $100. Then the other 18 retail at $18 per. 18x18=324. Add the kit and all the characters together and we are pushing $500.  For that kind of money I could have got the kid a 55 inch TV and a subscription to the Disney+ and still have some left over.

When the novelty ends with these I am so selling these on eBay to get some of my money back.

It’s a good thing she loves these things as much as she does. Every night we do the bathroom/bed routine and then after a story you tuck her in and wait for her to tell you something:

“Get Out” she says. One must not interrupt the Tonies when they start playing

The other part that of having these things in the house that is kind of annoying is that she listens to these at full volume lately. You would think she was a  half deaf little old lady in her apartment watching The Price is Right at full volume. I can hear the Tonies singing down in my man cave as I type this. How she can fall asleep like that is beyond me.

This brings us full circle to the “Bisexual” statement. Most of the Tonies are what you would expect: Peppa Pig, Olaf, Cinderella, and so on. But there’s one Tonie that’s real popular and it’s this one:

I haven’t listened to the entire thing but I’ve heard bits and pieces and there’s songs and stories about the LGBQT+ community and that’s where she picked this up and she also sings some song she picked up that starts with “Pride!!!!” constantly now.  Again, at  full volume.

This has obviously got her thinking and combined with learning about spelling you get “B is for Bisexual” statements at the kitchen table now in 2023.

As it happened we ended up at the Buffalo Pride Parade this weekend and OMG the excitement. We went to the dollar store and she could not contain her excitement when I bought her a rainbow leis and matching pink sunglasses. She had a great time and she danced and sang for a good hour I bet before the attention waned.

Then we went and had ice cream for lunch.  Because I’m the parent of the year.